OPINION:
Across America, a question is being asked in homes with daughters: Are there still men worth hoping for?
As a university president, I speak to parents every week to help them understand the world their children are stepping into.
A unique letter I received recently reminded me of what is at stake in our culture today. It came from the father of daughters after a visit to our campus, during which I spoke to prospective students about our hopes and expectations of the young men and women who enter our institution.
His words have stayed with me because they perfectly captured a subtle fear I am hearing more often from parents of daughters.
“As a father of two daughters, I don’t have a traditional son to walk with daily,” he wrote. “I really appreciated you calling on men to step forward into their calling.
“My daughter shared that she got emotional during your speech,” he said, explaining that for his daughter, hearing men being challenged by their university felt like an answer to her prayers. She had never experienced anything like it.
The man’s letter showed me that this is the deeper crisis: not boys losing their way, but girls losing confidence that noble men still exist and wondering whether they ever will again.
For years, conversations about the crisis among boys have focused almost entirely on the parents of sons. We picture mothers and fathers trying to keep their boys from drifting, from being swallowed by distraction, sexual temptations, anger or even just apathy.
Yet this father was speaking from a different vantage point. He knows that the boys being shaped today will become the men his daughters will one day date, work with and perhaps marry and build families with.
He is not alone. I hear this concern with growing regularity from parents of daughters who are watching the same cultural patterns unfold. They see the erosion of responsibility in younger men, the collapse of self-control and the normalization of passivity.
They are earnestly praying that their daughters will one day meet men who are trustworthy, faithful and noble.
The word noble does not imply perfection or polish. It does not imply a man without worries or weakness. It speaks instead of a man whose strength is governed by character — someone who tells the truth even when it costs him, who works hard even when no one is watching, who remains loyal and who treats women with dignity as image bearers worthy of honor rather than as objects or distractions.
A noble man is one who can be trusted.
The question is not whether a few exceptional young men will rise above the culture, but whether we will rebuild the conditions that form boys into men as a matter of course.
That work begins long before adulthood, and it cannot be outsourced. It starts in the home, where boys must be loved enough to be challenged. They need responsibilities that require perseverance, boundaries that instill self-control, and correction that produces humility rather than entitlement.
The work continues in the church, which must do more than lament the culture and condemn patterns of misbehavior. It must instead disciple men. It isn’t just the pastor’s job or the small group’s responsibility, but the responsibility of every older man in church. They should step toward their younger colleagues not just with advice but also with presence.
Boys become men by watching men. They learn courage by seeing it lived. They learn restraint by being trained in it.
Schools, sports teams and workplaces also have parts to play. Standards must matter again. Universities also have a responsibility. College is often the final season before the patterns of adulthood harden. A campus either normalizes moral drift or calls students to a higher level.
The deeper point is societal. A culture gets the men it trains. When boys learn to prioritize pleasure, convenience and escape, they enter adulthood without the resilience that relationships and responsibilities demand.
The father’s letter ended with a line that I haven’t been able to shake: “My daughter’s future husband might just be on that campus.”
This is not an abstract debate about masculinity. It is about the men our daughters will one day trust, love and build their lives with. If we want them to have hope, then we must raise noble men worthy of it.
• Eric Hogue is president of Colorado Christian University, ranked among the top 2% of colleges in America for its core curriculum.
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