OPINION:
I am aware, as are most other people, that the world is on fire at the moment: war with Iran, $4 gas, artificial intelligence hovering above us, dysfunctional government, the threat from China, etc.
Faced with all that, I would like to focus on the real crisis absorbing the attention of millions of households this spring. Where will the children go to college?
This is top of mind in large measure because the children of two good friends of mine have recently commenced the march toward college. One is a high school sophomore at the beginning of the selection process, and the other is starting to sort out acceptances (and rejections) and trying to decide which of her many academic suitors is most likely to make her happy.
These are fraught moments for parents, as the deep wellsprings of justified parental pride are tempered by the sobering realization that the costs of undergraduate education have become ridiculously and insupportably high.
There is also the ever-present but never-mentioned truth that departing for college is, for many in this society, one of the markers between individual adulthood and the relatively cozy collective that is childhood.
Then there is the very real concern on the part of the parents about the costs and benefits of the various options. State schools, supported by taxpayers, usually have a definitive advantage in instances where cost is a consideration.
It costs much less to become a teacher if one is a resident of Florida and receives the necessary training at the University of Florida in Gainesville rather than at New York University in New York City. That’s obvious and immediate to parents, but less so to the rising freshmen.
That disconnect raises the fundamental question with which all families wrestle (at least for the first child): Who makes the decision about where to go? Those who have been through the process understand that this is almost always the choice of the student and, in many cases, is the first material decision the student in question does make.
Should and do parents have some say in that matter? Of course, but the reality is that if the fit is not right, then the student will wind up moving where the fit is better. All the parental anxiety in the world will not change that.
The good news is that the decision is much less important than it appears. Most people have fun at college; it’s hard not to. It is the only time in your life when (almost) all your friends live within walking distance, when one’s only responsibility is to learn and when you are surrounded by literally thousands of young, healthy, inquisitive and interesting people.
So if you are the one making the decision about which college to attend, then try to relax with it. You are likely to enjoy yourself no matter where you wind up.
Finally, despite the constant propaganda, it doesn’t really matter all that much where one goes to school, especially undergraduate. Are connections and “prestige” helpful? You bet they are. Yet in the long sweep of one’s working life, relatively quotidian things — showing up on time, working smart and diligently, being respectful, bringing some creativity to your work — are much more important than one’s alma mater.
It is possible to get a decent education free of charge at a public library.
One final observation bears notice. For the parents, filled with love and desperation, these are not easy moments, especially the first time through the process. It’s OK to be sad that your child is beginning to make sounds like an adult and seems excited about leaving the nest.
It’s OK to be sad that some portion of your life now will be a lonely vigil of concern for the child not with you. Try to embrace the achievement of launching a mostly developed and responsible human out into the world.
• Michael McKenna is a contributing editor at The Washington Times.
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