OPINION:
In the classic film, “Animal House,” there’s a scene where the Delta House is being dismantled by Faber College workers on orders of Dean Wormer, who has revoked the fraternity’s charter.
Watching the destruction are brothers Boon and Otter with pledge Pinto.
Boon: “Christ, Otter. This is ridiculous. “
Pinto: “What are we going to do?”
Boon and Otter look at each other and say, “Road trip.”
That’s what the Washington Commanders are doing this week — taking Flounder’s brother Fred’s Lincoln Continental to Emily Dickinson College to pick up the late Fawn Liebowitz’s roommate and go to the Dexter Lake Club to see Otis Day and the Knights.
The Commanders collapsing? Road trip.
In the wake of his team’s fifth straight loss — a 44-22 beatdown by the Detroit Lions — coach Dan Quinn is looking forward to firing up the Lincoln and getting out of town to face the Miami Dolphins Sunday in Madrid.
“Not the worst thing for us,” Quinn told reporters after the embarrassing loss Sunday – their fourth straight by more than 20 points and putting the Commanders (3-7) at the bottom of the NFC in points surrendered with 280. “We got to find solutions, where we’re at and doing that together. That’s the right space to go do it. So, we’ll take it on the road tomorrow night and we got a lot of things to fix.”
I’m not sure how that is going to happen. They are playing a Miami (3-7) team that rushed for 197 yards in an impressive 30-13 upset win over the Buffalo Bills.
There are more than 100 churches in Madrid. They may have to light candles in all of them.
Last week, they pinned their hopes on the big move of defensive coordinator Joe Whitt Jr. from the press box to the sideline.
“Being down on the field, we just felt like it’s a change that needs to be made and get into that space and may not be forever, but that’s what we need at the moment,” Quinn told reporters last week.
The Lions (6-3) finished the game Sunday with 546 yards of offense, the most against a Washington defense since 2013 — and there have been a lot of bad Washington defenses since then.
Did they tell Whitt which sideline they wanted him on?
Quinn announced Monday he is taking over defensive play-calling. Whitt will stay on the staff.
“When something’s not working, we shift from the question of why isn’t it working to what do we need to do to get it right? Right now, that’ll call for some change,” Quinn said. “I’ll take over the role as the defensive coordinator and all that entails. Joe’s been my right hand man for years and took the news like the pro he is. As a defensive staff including Joe, we’re all consumed by getting it right, and that’s exactly what we intend to do.”
Getting it right will be a challenge.
The reality is that the answers are all taped up or on crutches or recovering from surgery.
It’s tired and frustrating, but their two best pass rushers, Deatrich Wise and Dorance Armstrong, and key safety Will Harris have spent much of the season sidelined.
For a defense that entered the season hoping to bend just enough to allow the explosive offense to outscore its opponents, the thin line between containment and catastrophe has been shattered.
That explosive offense has its own hospital wing. Receiver Terry McLaurin has seen action in just four games this season. Noah Brown has barely seen the field. Running back Austin Ekeler has been out since week two with a torn Achilles. These are three of their top five receivers from 2024 — catching passes from NFL Rookie of the Year Jayden Daniels.
Oh, here I am, more than halfway into my column, and I haven’t mentioned Daniels yet. He didn’t play Sunday, he won’t be playing in Madrid, and nobody knows when he might be back from the dislocated left elbow he suffered last week near the end of the Seahawks game when his team was down 38-7.
It was almost amusing Sunday when Quinn, who was crucified for keeping Daniels in the final minutes of the Seattle game, took backup quarterback Marcus Mariota out against Detroit with less than five minutes remaining.
Guess that problem is fixed now.
Some problems, though, appear to go beyond the missing players. The ones remaining, particularly defensively, seem incapable of playing NFL caliber football — or even worse, not prepared, motivated or mature enough.
Veteran defensive tackle Daron Payne — named a captain for the Lions contest — was thrown out of the game in the second quarter after he punched at Detroit receiver Amon-Ra St. Brown. He has been suspended by the league and will miss the Dolphins game.
That culture that Quinn has been building appears to be cracking like a pot in the kiln explosion that killed Fawn Liebowitz.
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