OPINION:
Atop his presidential duties, President Trump operates Six Flags Over Pennsylvania Avenue. This taxpayer-funded amusement park promises never a dull moment. Its rides are some of the world’s most thrilling — like nothing anyone has seen before.
The Senior-Staff Roller Coaster plunged at dizzying speed Thursday morning as National Security Adviser Michael Waltz seemed to drop to his doom.
Just when Mr. Waltz looked cooked, the roller coaster took a sharp turn. In a head-snapping surprise, it shifted north and climbed anew.
“I am pleased to announce that I will be nominating Mike Waltz to be the next United States Ambassador to the United Nations,” Mr. Trump declared via Truth Social at 2:16 p.m. “From his time in uniform on the battlefield, in Congress and, as my National Security Adviser, Mike Waltz has worked hard to put our Nation’s Interests first. I know he will do the same in his new role.”
Meanwhile, Marco Rubio found himself on the Centripetal Force Multiplier. As it rapidly revolved, power moved toward Mr. Rubio, not away from him. He will now serve as secretary of state and national security adviser.
The legendary Henry Kissinger simultaneously held both posts from September 1973 to November 1975, but Henry the K never ran the National Archives. What a slacker!
America’s Acting Archivist is none other than … Marco Rubio! He also currently leads the Agency for International Development. The faster the Centripetal Force Multiplier turns, the more jobs Mr. Rubio will hold. If the hapless Jerome Powell quits, the talented Mr. Rubio could become Federal Reserve chairman.
Mr. Powell wanders through a Six Flags section called Limbo Land. Mr. Trump does not love Mr. Powell enough to grant him a long-term pass. However, Mr. Trump does not hate him enough to banish him. So, Mr. Powell stumbles around looking for signs of growth to stomp on in a deeply misguided effort to fight inflation by hobbling economic expansion.
This question immediately arises: How might Mr. Waltz perform as ambassador to the United Nations? His quietly secured achievements at the National Security Council offer clues:
• The NSC captured and extradited Mohammad Sharifullah, the accused mastermind of the August 2021 suicide bombing at Kabul International Airport — the nadir of President Biden’s shambolic Afghanistan retreat. This ISIS-K onslaught killed 13 U.S. GIs and wounded 18 other Americans in uniform. This attack killed at least 170 Afghans and injured 132 others.
• The NSC helped free 47 Americans held hostage or unfairly detained overseas.
• Mr. Waltz wallpapered his West Wing office with bad guys’ scalps. The NSC counted 78 terrorists killed via Trump 47’s counterterrorism efforts in Iraq, Somalia and Syria.
• The NSC helped liquidate 82 Houthi officers and 120 fighters via airstrikes on 800 targets in Yemen. Such U.S. firepower will make the Red Sea great again.
• NSC pressure persuaded Mexico to dispatch 10,000 soldiers to its side of the border. This reform helped shrivel illegal alien border crossings by 95% and known gotaways by 99% under Trump 47.
Turning terrorists into burger typically exceeds an ambassador’s job description. However, these triumphs confirm that Mr. Waltz is a hard-liner who delivers.
“Mike Waltz is an American hero who has served our country with honor, from the battlefield to Congress and now as our next Ambassador to the United Nations,” said Rep. Randy Fine, Florida Republican, who replaced Mr. Waltz in the U.S. House. “I’m confident he will bring the same strength, clarity, and conviction to the world stage that he has always shown at home.”
Former Ambassador Daniel Patrick Moynihan called the United Nations “a dangerous place.” As the source of abundant global mischief, the United Nations deserves a hard-boiled American emissary to resist the thieves and thugs who befoul the General Assembly.
Tough and effective, Mr. Waltz is poised to represent America admirably. And, as crazy as things might get at U.N. headquarters in Manhattan, he likely will find it calm and soothing compared with Six Flags over Pennsylvania Avenue.
• Deroy Murdock is a Manhattan-based Fox News contributor.
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