Divorce is not good for children

OPINION:

In his book “Solid Answers,” Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, wrote: “It’s now known that the emotional development in children is directly related to the presence of warm, nurturing, sustained and continuous interaction with both parents. Anything that interferes with that vital relationship with either mother or father can have lasting consequences for the child.”

Although Dr. Dobson wrote those words 30 years ago, they remain true today. He went on to cite research showing that 90% of children from divorced homes suffer from an acute sense of shock when their parents separate, with 50% feeling rejected and abandoned.

These sad statistics have been proved again by a study published by the National Bureau of Economic Research, which tracked 1 million children of divorce over 50 years.

First, children of divorce face economic insecurity, as the average household income after a divorce drops by half. This factor puts these children in a disadvantaged position in relation to their peers. Their single parent cannot provide the economic opportunities that other children receive, particularly regarding education and socialization activities.

Because they have fewer opportunities, they are affected later in life. Children of divorce, particularly early divorce, earn 13% less by their early 20s.

Because of their feeling of abandonment, children of divorce often seek physical and emotional attachment via unhealthy means. That is why, according to the authors of the study, they have a 60% greater chance of teen pregnancy and higher risks of childhood mortality. If they do make it to adulthood, 40% have a greater risk of serving jail time and a 45% higher risk of early death.

Girls seeking the security that comes from a relationship with a father end up looking for, as the song goes, “love in all the wrong places,” while boys bottle up internal rage waiting to explode, often in dangerous and deadly ways.

Yet despite these alarming statistics, the media and other so-called experts are whistling in the dark or saying, “Nothing to see here,” as children’s lives continue to be sacrificed on the altar of “self-fulfillment.”

In a recent piece, Grant Bailey of the Institute for Family Studies cites recent articles promoting divorce as a “healthy option,” such as “Divorce Can Be an Act of Radical Self-Love,” a New York Times op-ed, and “Women are divorcing — and finally finding happiness,” an opinion piece in The Washington Post.

The writers of these op-eds evidently did not ask the children of these parents, who are now experiencing “radical self-love,” whether they also are finding the happiness their parents supposedly are.

I could go on to cite even more depressing statistics about the devastating effects of divorce on children, but I believe the point has been made. The bottom line is that all we must do is look at the current state of our nation when it comes to increasing childhood poverty, homelessness, youth violence and atrocious educational achievement to see the consequences divorce has on our society.

If we are going to solve our current social, political and economic dysfunction, we must address the issue of divorce and its effects on children. All the government funding in the world is nothing more than placing a Band-Aid on a severed artery. It may slow the bleeding somewhat but never heals the open wound.

So, as Mr. Dobson wrote in 1995, anything that interferes with the vital relationship of a married mother and father to their children has lasting consequences — not just for the child but also for the child’s future children and society as a whole. Divorce creates a generational curse that is hard to break.

However, the first step toward breaking it is acknowledging that it exists, and that is why I am grateful that more and more studies, such as the one published by the National Bureau of Economic Research, are shedding light. Hopefully, they will provide hope for future generations of children.

• Timothy S. Goeglein is vice president of external and government relations for Focus on the Family. He served as special assistant to President George W. Bush and as a deputy director of the White House Office of Public Liaison.