The transformational power of fatherhood

OPINION:

I’ll never forget that day decades ago when I told my father that the CIA had hired me and I would be starting work there in three months.

I expected him to be surprised, ask why I had chosen to embark on such a career or perhaps question my decision-making.

After all, recruiting spies and stealing secrets overseas was a long way off, literally and figuratively, from the local swimming pool where I had been spending my days coaching children.

I figured Dad would admonish me about his college classmate, legendary CIA officer Richard Welch, whom the Greek terrorist group November 17 assassinated in front of his home in Athens, where he was serving as chief of station in 1975.

However, Dad did none of those things. All he said was that he was proud of me.

Reflecting on our conversation years later, I realized Dad probably had a better idea of where my life might have been headed before I did.

As I was growing up, we spent time discussing and debating current events while driving to football games and taking ski trips.

Captivating my interest, Dad talked about what was happening in the world with facts rather than ideology.

He encouraged me to read as much as possible, think critically and see the world through the eyes of the foreign leaders we were trying to understand. He also taught me to see ourselves through their eyes.

Dad also shared our family story, which was pivotal in blazing my trail to government service. My grandfather was the first on my dad’s side of the family born in the U.S.

His father was a photographer and the family had little money, but my grandfather studied hard at public school, served in the Navy during World War I, went to college and law school and founded his law firm in downtown Boston. Fluent in Italian and French, my grandfather focused his practice on family law and helped newly arrived immigrants to Massachusetts.

My father told me about how his uncle, who served in the U.S. Army during World War I, had a tearful reunion with my grandfather after the armistice, which neither of the brothers expected when they left for war.

My great-uncle died in his early 40s as a result of exposure to chemical warfare on the front.

After completing my education, I decided that even though a number of other family members had served in the military, including during World War II and the Korean War, we had not quite repaid our debt to our nation in return for the extraordinary freedom and opportunity we continued to enjoy.

That was why I joined the CIA.

While I was serving, Dad was always careful not to ask questions about what exactly I was doing, but he listened with great interest to what I could tell him, visited me overseas when possible and protected my status as an undercover operator when people would ask him what his son was really doing.

Most of all, he would often repeat what he said from the start: “I’m proud of you, Danny.”

Years ago, my father delivered a heartfelt toast to my sister and brother-in-law at their wedding. My sister is a neuropsychologist whose specialty is brain mapping. “One of these days soon,” my dad said, “she will be able to tell me what part of the brain it is exactly, which causes my heart to melt when I see her, especially today as a beautiful bride.”

It has been eight years since my dad died from complications related to Parkinson’s disease. Of all my memories of him, together at football games, on the ski slopes and at family vacations, the one that stands out to this day more than any other is that eloquent toast, which encapsulates what it means to be a father.

That’s because there is arguably no greater transformational moment in a man’s life than becoming a dad and taking on the responsibility of nurturing and caring for his child with love that knows no bounds.

So this Father’s Day, I’ll be raising a glass to my dad and reflecting on his extraordinary impact on my life and how, under his tutelage, even if I might not have realized it at the time, I learned so much about raising my own sons.

• Daniel N. Hoffman is a retired clandestine services officer and former chief of station with the Central Intelligence Agency. His combined 30 years of government service included high-level overseas and domestic positions at the CIA. He has been a Fox News contributor since May 2018. He can be reached at danielhoffman@yahoo.com.