OPINION:
“Jesus has allowed me to forgive you for murdering my daughter without even being sorry.”
These emotional words were almost impossible to process, as Cara Kernodle, the mother of murdered University of Idaho student Xana Kernodle, stood before her daughter’s killer in a crowded courtroom and showed radical love, mercy, kindness and strength.
And as Ms. Kernodle spoke directly to Bryan Kohberger, her daughter’s confessed killer, she made clear the source of her radical strength.
“It is Christ who lives in me that has given me the strength to forgive you,” she said. “It was of no power of my own.”
Ms. Kernodle also told the killer that, by forgiving him, she was able to release herself of the evil he had inflicted upon her and the other victims’ families — and that she had found peace in deciding to allow God to deal with Kohberger.
These powerful words were uttered during the assailant’s sentencing hearing after he confessed to killing four students on Nov. 13, 2022, in a horrific display that made international headlines. While some victims’ families showed anger and rage during their victim impact statements, Ms. Kernodle was measured, pointed and intent in driving home a faithful message.
In such a sick, cancel-culture-ridden culture — one that is too often steeped in selfishness — the mother of a murder victim offered not only absolution, but also prayer for her daughter’s killer.
“I do pray for you,” Ms. Kernodle continued, warning that eternity awaits. “I pray that, before this life is over, that you ask our Lord and Savior in your heart and to forgive you.”
It’s virtually impossible not to pause and ponder the gravity of these words. This grieving mother isn’t shielding her pain, nor is she glossing over the horrific crimes perpetuated against her daughter, family and other victims.
Rather, she’s rising above the fruitless and destructive prison that hatred, anger and unforgiveness create to selflessly force herself to see the soul inside of the man who has become known for such monstrous evil.
It’s a seemingly super-human level of compassion for such a bereaved person to care so lovingly about the salvation of her daughter’s killer. Ms. Kernodle took the time to pray for Kohberger to turn back from his evil, repent and get right with the Lord.
This level of forgiveness, I believe, is only possible with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It’s perfectly natural to be filled with rage, hatred, depression and sadness after facing the unimaginable pain Ms. Kernodle has experienced.
And yet she looked past all of that to diligently live out Jesus’ call in Matthew 4:43-48 (NIV).
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy,’” verse 43 reads, with verses 44-45 continuing, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”
Just days before Ms. Kernodle’s stunning courtroom compassion, I spoke with her about the difficult journey she has been on since Xana’s death. She shared how she struggled with drugs and alcohol before and after the murders — and how that battle came to a head, culminating in jail time.
And it was that rock-bottom experience that transformed absolutely everything for Ms. Kernodle, sending her on a path toward faith, restoration and the ability to forgive.
“I was arrested and I had to spend time in jail for 10 months,” she told me. “I actually turned my life over to the Lord in a jail cell.”
That decision sparked a Christian journey that has brought her peace and solace even as she’s had to continue journeying through chaos. Yet she has persevered through it all, and she’s hoping others, including her daughter’s killer, can see that real change is possible.
“It’s been 18 months now; I’ve been completely sober,” she said. “I am completely free of every bondage through Christ. There’s just no other answer for that except for Jesus.”
The evidence for Ms. Kernodle’s radical life change was on full display in that courtroom, as she exhibited a strength we rarely see — an ability to put her feelings and emotions to the side, to see through the fog of pain, and to offer up the same solution that has radically altered her own life.
Oftentimes, it’s people such as Ms. Kernodle who have experienced such profound brokenness who so perfectly understand what’s possible with God. Her approach is a blueprint we should all follow when we confront adversity, chaos and difficult circumstances.
After all, if she’s able to forgive and offer compassion to her daughter’s killer, what excuse do we have not to settle our more benign grievances?
• Billy Hallowell is a digital TV host and interviewer for Faithwire and CBN News and the co-host of CBN’s “Quick Start Podcast.” Mr. Hallowell is the author of four books.
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