OPINION:
Last week’s major kerfuffle in the conservative Christian world centered around the announcement by Chip and Joanna Gaines, of Magnolia Network fame, that they will proudly feature a “family” of two “married” men and the men’s young, surrogacy-purchased boys in an upcoming episode of their show.
Upon receiving predictable criticism for this decision, Mr. Gaines defiantly posted the following message on X: “Talk, ask questions, listen … maybe even learn. Too much to ask of modern American Christian culture. Judge first, understand later/never. It’s a sad Sunday when ‘non-believers’ have never been confronted by hate or vitriol until they are introduced to a modern American Christian.”
How should we respond?
First, we might want to point out that Mr. Gaines’ post is self-refuting in the extreme. Disagreement is not synonymous with hate, and debate is not the same thing as vitriol. If they were, then Mr. Gaines is clearly guilty of both. Just because I disagree with someone does not mean I hate them, and engaging in debate does not mean I’m being vitriolic. Dare I suggest that Mr. Gaines needs to grow up a bit and remember the axiom, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”?
Confrontation is good for the soul. A healthy debate is supposed to challenge you. Strong words are necessary if we are to become strong men. Like King Solomon said, “As iron sharpens iron, let one man sharpen another.” Isn’t this what’s implied in Mr. Gaines’ own social media account background, which features photos of his book “No Pains, No Gaines: The Good Stuff Doesn’t Come Easy”?
Second, when Mr. Gaines says we should “listen and learn,” we might rightly ask him whether he is willing to do the same.
For example, is he willing to listen and learn from Becket Cook, author of “A Change of Affection: A Gay Man’s Incredible Story of Redemption,” who responded to Mr. Gaines by saying: “Respectfully, Chip, that doesn’t work. You can’t platform a gay family on your show, further normalizing it, and cry foul. You’re intentionally or unintentionally leading many astray.”
Is he willing to listen and learn from Katy Faust, founder of the organization Them Before Us, which advocates that “children should have the right to their mother and father and to order their lives accordingly,” when Ms. Faust posted on X: “Chip, you put a gay couple on the flyer to recruit for the show. They intended to ‘normalize’ motherless homes via their participation. The Christian response to child victimization isn’t ‘listen & learn.’ It’s rise and protect. You are in millstone territory.”
How about Allie Beth Stuckey, author of the New York Times bestseller “Toxic Empathy”? Is Mr. Gaines willing to listen and learn from her when she responded to him on the social media platform: “Chip, you can’t out-love God. God is love, which means 2 things: 1) He gets to define it. 2) Everything He says and does He says and does in love. … You are rejoicing in wrongdoing & rejecting the truth by choosing to glorify that which God calls sin. … Thus you are neither loving God nor loving people by this decision. … Sin hurts people, and it angers the God you say you serve. The least loving thing possible is to normalize it.”
Finally, is Mr. Gaines willing to listen and learn from Christ himself, who explicitly tells his followers that, yes, we are indeed supposed to judge all who claim to be believers (such as Mr. and Mrs. Gaines) by their words, deeds and obedience? “Beware of false prophets,” said Jesus. “You will recognize them by their fruit. … Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, you will recognize them by their fruit.”
Mr. Gaines’ judgment of all the Christians he accuses of being too judgmental is the quintessential example of the pot calling the kettle black and the poster child for what Jesus likely meant when he said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own?”
Could it be that it’s the Gaines’ brand of “modern American Christianity” that’s missing the mark, rather than those he refuses to listen to and learn from in social media?
• Everett Piper (dreverettpiper.com, @dreverettpiper), a columnist for The Washington Times, is a former university president and radio host. He is the author of “Not a Day Care: The Devastating Consequences of Abandoning Truth” (Regnery). He can be reached at epiper@dreverettpiper.com.
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