Unapologetically pro-life

OPINION:

From a young age, I chose to live my life as an open book. I knew that, somehow, the ups and downs in my story would benefit the lives of others. Never in my wildest imagination did I think that it would affect over 22,000 mothers, fathers and children, helping them find their own path to a happy ending.

I am the only surviving child in my family. In fact, the first chapter of my life might have never been written. My mother, at the direction of her doctor, was scheduled to abort me shortly after learning of her unplanned pregnancy. Thankfully, she didn’t show up for her appointment. 

My sibling, who followed me, wasn’t as fortunate. Neither was my mother. After following through with the abortion, she was never able to carry children again, and throughout my childhood, I witnessed her suffer devastating miscarriages. 

After seeing the pain that my mother’s abortion had caused her when I found myself unexpectedly pregnant at 21 years old, I knew that I would keep and love my daughter.  

Years later, in a test of our own values and dedication, my husband and I were surprised to find that our daughter was unexpectedly pregnant with her boyfriend’s child. I remember how nervous they were to tell us the news. In that moment, I learned that if I vowed to be pro-life and pro-woman, I would need to start with my own family. 

Seeing her tell her father and receive the biggest hug from him in her time of need will forever be one of my dearest memories.    

After living these experiences, I understood the gift that life is and the pain and helplessness that women feel — both during an unplanned pregnancy and after abortion. It inspired me to meet the needs of these women and their children by working at pregnancy resource centers. As time went by, I felt a strong pull on my heart to do more.  

With many pregnant women in the community suffering from a lack of cost-free, life-edifying reproductive health care in addition to homelessness and addiction, and men who had no idea how to be a father, I endeavored to address root problems through a new system that would identify and break down all the barriers in our patients’ lives. 

In 2018, I opened Reliance, a holistic reproductive health center that serves mother, baby and father. Since the opening of the center, and more importantly since the Supreme Court’s decision last year to overturn Roe v. Wade, I have learned that women want to have resources, options and support when facing an unplanned pregnancy. They want to have conversations about their life and the life of their baby, rather than simply jumping into having an abortion. 

I’ve seen that when a woman hears that they are not alone and that services exist to help with finances, housing, job searches, addiction recovery, car payments, day care etc., her entire mentality on abortion changes. By removing the pressures and barriers of life, there is more room for women to choose life for their children. 

I have also seen the importance that emotional support plays in a mother’s decision to choose life. Many women come to us abortion-minded simply because they themselves never had good mothers, are in a dark time of their life, and feel as though they would not be able to rise to the occasion. They deserve to know that their past does not define them. They are strong and capable, and they are loved and worthy of a happy life just like their child. 

I have also seen the vital role that fathers play in the life of a child. We quickly noticed that as the women came to our center, the fathers were left in the waiting room distraught and with no say in the matter. When we approach him and ask how he feels about abortion, more often than not he wants to keep the child but will agree to whatever the woman decides. 

When we tell these men that their voice matters and they can be good fathers, they are more likely to offer support for the woman and child. From the woman’s perspective, when she learns that she will have support from us, and from her partner, life and love enters the picture. 

As the world constantly tells women that they cannot be a mother and be successful at the same time, we work to ensure they know that they can have their baby and their dreams too, and that those two things are not mutually exclusive. We want them to know that they are strong, capable and loved, just as their child is. 

Women don’t need abortions; they need people who will love them, fight for them, and tell them the truth. It’s remarkable to see the transformation that happens for women and men when they receive the support they need in difficult times. At Reliance, we will never stop working to ensure that, after these dark chapters, our patients’ lifelong stories are filled with hope, joy and success.

• Heather Lawless is the founder of Reliance Ministries and Reliance Center in Idaho.