OPINION:
“I can’t even think about it,” she said. “People from both sides of the family, all meeting at our house for dinner. Old resentments right under the surface. No one listens. There are no reasonable conversations.”
Another friend summarized the next month or two this way: “Every holiday song I hear makes me feel worse. I need to listen to more Nirvana.”
Subscribe to have The Washington Times’ Higher Ground delivered to your inbox every Sunday.
Holidays can, indeed, be the worst. If you are prone to depression or any of its partners, such as being lonely, weary, indifferent, or something akin to dead inside — expect them loud and en masse. If you have go-to ways to numb yourself or indulge, expect those addictive tendencies to exert themselves with even more self-defeating consequences. What was hard or out of control last year at this time will most likely return.
Remember, you will be surrounded by merriment and images of Rockwellesque families. Against that backdrop, your own struggles will be in stark contrast to the apparent merriment of the entire world, which means that survival seems like a noble goal.
With this in mind, here is something simple yet so radically different you might be intrigued.
Try reading the first of the apostle John’s three letters (1 John).
Why this letter? John knew Jesus. He is now old and wise — a realist who is familiar with isolation and hardships. The letter is not about Bethlehem, shepherds, a star, a manger and the birth of Jesus. It is about Jesus, as is all Scripture, but John brings us into spiritual reality (insert “the enduring reality that rests behind the chaos of life”) that is simultaneously cosmic while it lands into your everyday details, infusing them with weight and meaning.
Your interpretive strategy for reading this letter is that everything John writes must sound good. If it doesn’t, assume that you misunderstand him. The Christmas message is that good news has been waiting to burst out for millennia and it is now embodied in a person. John is writing to you about that person, and he has as one primary message: God has loved you first and most.
“This is love: not that we loved God but that he loved us” (1 John 4:10).
That should sound good.
Good news then invites a response. For example, John reminds you that you are not very good at loving either God or other people. No surprise here.
So John encourages you to acknowledge that and speak it to God, who takes great pleasure in forgiving you.
Next, set out to love one other person, preferably a person who is part of your family who is not easy to love. How to do it? God has loved you more than you will ever love him back; you go out and treat someone in the way you have been treated. Love someone more than you want to be loved by them.
All this is a fine gift to unwrap and enjoy. It might give you hope where hope was absent and give you less reason to dust off those old numbing strategies.
–
Edward T. Welch, MDiv, PhD,is a licensed psychologist and faculty member at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF). He is a contributor to the CSB Life Counsel Bible, which features over 150 articles from expert contributors to help the weary world rejoice by equipping readers to apply biblical principles and counsel to everyday life. Learn more or purchase your copy of the CSB Life Counsel Bible.
Please read our comment policy before commenting.