OPINION:
“Those benefitting from conflict see little value in reconciliation.”
Each day, America’s media graphically presents individuals spewing mind-numbing hostility in ways never seen. Whether in front of a Supreme Court justice’s home, a church or a government building, the contorted hate-filled faces of fellow citizens fill screens and headlines across the country. While America craves a palate cleanser of decent behavior, nothing buys airtime quite like the currency of rage.
As local, state and federal governments shake hands with hysterical mobs on social media or in person, society crumbles and liberty wanes. Yet, the airwaves stay filled with mayhem and misery caused by berserk behavior — because even in wanton violence and destruction, rage exceeds the value of gold.
It is the human condition to rail against what we do not control. Sometimes that fury explodes at significant relationships or authority figures, while other times is directed inward through shame or depression. While healthy adults learn to master this ingrained tendency, unhealthy ones unleash it explosively. In “Paradise Lost,” John Milton made the case that hate has no expiration date.
“Never can true reconcilement grow where wounds of deadly hate have pierced so deep.”
The shelf life of resentment can last beyond the grave and seethe for generations until stoked or triggered to erupt.
In chemistry, a catalyst is needed to “set off” the reaction that transforms a liquid into a hard substance with a material like acrylic resin. Simmering rage also requires a stimulant for eruption. The catalyst for the reckless and riotous behavior displayed across the country seems two-fold: fear of having something taken or resentment of being denied.
Regardless of the root cause, fury does not foster wise decisions.
Any family with an abusive member affirms that one cannot reason with rage; it must be subdued. America currently suffers from a national dysfunction of domestic violence unleashed by abusive members — and amply enabled by others. While abusers remained unfettered, the country is unable to thrive. The culprits for this dynamic are not limited to the hate-filled individuals damaging property and screaming at (and injuring) others. Those who incite — the catalysts — bear far more guilt. Preying on the emotional instability of others, the schemers profit while the dysfunctional run amok.
There’s money in madness.
It is futile to think that one agitated side of a disagreement can turn out to confront a different emotionally charged group and somehow reason them over. Particularly with issues such as race, abortion, religion and crime. Productive discussions about those issues require smaller interactions with mature individuals committed to finding common ground.
Yet, who is calling for unity or citizens to shake hands?
While cheering on the cockfights, the loudest voices place bets and gloat while counting blood-stained winnings. War-profiteers throughout history learned that peace accords produce less financial gain than military actions. Those benefitting from conflict see little value in reconciliation.
True leaders recognize that healthiness and respect serve society better than hate. Those types of leaders are harder to hear but easier to identify. They extend hands without fists, laugh without mocking, smile without smirking, and their raised voices inspire rather than incite.
Savagery and civility cannot coexist, but disagreements and dignity can.
Petulance and temper tantrums are hallmarks of childish and adolescent behavior. Rewarding such behavior delays adulthood and fosters contempt. One does not argue with a toddler or teenager, nor does someone fight with a cognitively impaired loved one or someone with a mental illness. In addition to not being a level playing field, capitulating to and placating dysfunctions diminish the adult — and the issue.
America benefits when adults use discipline in their own lives while modeling it for others. Sadly, the task remains daunting due to generations of enabling and coddling. The first step in America’s lengthy path towards healthiness is to devalue the currency of rage and replace it with responsibility.
• Peter Rosenberger hosts the nationally syndicated radio program, “Hope for the Caregiver.” www.hopeforthecaregiver.com
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