OPINION:
When John* enlisted in the Armed Services, he believed that service to his country would give greater meaning to his life. He dreamed of working alongside others committed to investing themselves in a common goal — something bigger than himself. Three years and three moves later, he is still searching to find his place in that dream.
John’s experience is not atypical for those who join the military. As many young Americans struggle with their identity, they look for external opportunities to do good and make the world better. Some find this in their jobs, others in their community involvement. Many look for it in military service.
More than 2 million Americans are currently serving in the Armed Forces, often separated from their homes. Many are stationed or deployed overseas; most will experience constant changes in assignments and frequent moves from base to base. With the passing months and moves, many realize their Military service wasn’t the answer they were seeking. For some, the longer they serve, the more isolated life can seem.
Some experts forecast persistent and significant mental health issues in our future as the long-term emotional, physical, financial, and social effects of the COVID-19 pandemic take root. Diagnoses of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) are projected to climb.
Our military members are men and women just like you and me — only they’re daily under the intense pressure of military service. The suicide rates of those who served on active duty are outpacing the numbers of those who have died during combat operations. The urgency of the mental health crisis has led to new proposed legislation to remove mental health stigmas in the Military. Praying for our heroes’ physical safety isn’t enough; we also need to help meet their emotional and spiritual needs.
Here are three lessons I have learned during my time as a Military chaplain, counseling thousands of service members that I wish every American knew.
Loneliness is not the same as separation.
All of those serving in the military will experience separation from their loved ones. But not all are lonely. Let me explain the difference.
When John moved overseas for the first time, he felt disconnected — thousands of miles from those he loved. This separation is not uncommon. The average Armed Services member moves three times more often than the average civilian family, creating stress and worry both in themselves and their family members back home. But for John, with each move, a new feeling emerged as well — that of being isolated and trapped. He felt unable to change his situation.
Like many in the military, John is trying to juggle work responsibilities, family concerns, ongoing stressors, and too often feelings of loneliness, a deep incompleteness they can’t quite shake. Every call with family is another reminder of something missing inside.
However, the beauty of the Christian faith is that even when we are separated, we know that we are never truly alone. God is always with us, and despite time zones and geographical and cultural differences, we can experience wholeness and community. Our service members and their families can know that although they are separated for a season, they are not alone. We are always connected with Christ and with one another as the body of Christ, the Church.
Since 1817, we at American Bible Society have provided those in the Armed Services with over 60 million Bibles and faith-based resources tailored to the military culture. One of the best ways to combat the loneliness experienced by our service members and their families is to pray for them and encourage them to join together in family and church-wide devotional plans. These can reach across the geographic divide to create a deep emotional and spiritual connection.
The hero is just like any of us.
Upon their return from service, military members are often heralded as heroes for risking their lives in putting the needs of others before themselves. Although these men and women are incredible human beings, elevating their image has inherent dangers.
This is never more apparent than when they are suffering the wounds from military service. Whether physical or emotional, the wounds of war can take on an elevated sense of identity. Those who carry the outward scars on their bodies or the inward scars of the heart are marked “disabled.” The problem comes when they begin to believe that is all they are, becoming no more than their wounds.
For others, being hailed a hero can create deep confusion. They know others have given more, so they suffer silently, feeling like an imposter or unworthy. Servicemen and women struggling with their identity need to know how God sees them and why they were created.
We can effectively support our servicemen and women and their families by helping them see they were created in the Image of God —reminding them that they are worthy not because of what they have or have not done but because of who they are in Christ. Discovering their identity in Christ and realizing they are a deeply loved child of God is foundational for emotional wellness.
Community is often the best gift you can give.
Many men and women entering military service discover—in the midst of their loneliness, stress, and identity issues—the great strength of community. The bonds of fellowship run deep in the Armed Services. Friendships made in times of hardship will last a lifetime.
This is also true for families of military members. Family members can struggle with loneliness and with not knowing where to turn. They need opportunities for a true and authentic community with other families. One of the best ways to care for our servicemen and women and their families is to make ourselves available to be safe spaces and open arms. We can redefine community as a place of lasting openness and authenticity—beginning in the church.
When we know, we are never alone, that our identity is as God’s beloved, and that we have safe spaces to run for help, a world of possibilities opens. This is equally true for those serving in our military and their families.
They have sacrificed much for us. Let’s be the church that does just as much to help them discover they are not alone, that they are created in the image of God and that they can experience the fullness of the Christian community. This can be an eternal endeavor that starts today.
* Not his real name
• Gordon Groseclose is Program Representative at Armed Services Ministry, American Bible Society.
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