GRAND JUNCTION, Colo. (AP) - The moment Violet met Bob, an invisible thread stitched their heartstrings together and connected them for the rest of his life.
Through marriages, divorces, kids and careers, that thread tethered them for the next 50 years as they lived separate lives.
The same forces that introduced them those many years ago pushed them apart, and then reunited them. Finally, these beings who had orbited each other from afar were brought together again for a blissful eight months, the best time of their lives.
It wasn’t the life Violet expected to live, but she says now it was all how it was supposed to happen.
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Since she was a little girl, Violet wanted to become a nun.
It was 1965, and at 17 years old, she had never had a boyfriend or considered dating, mostly because she always knew she wanted to join an order and take her vows. She grew up in a conservative Catholic family in Price, Utah, went to Catholic school and planned on dedicating herself to a religious life.
Violet joined a few other girls and two nuns who took them to St. Louis to visit the Marillac Seminary, home of the Daughters of Charity.
Sister Mary Ann had a sister in Aurora, so they drove out there to spend the day with her, and that sister had two sons, who invited over their friend, Bob Martin.
They put on some records and Bob asked Violet to dance, and she was jolted off the path to becoming a nun.
Every time she bowed her head to pray, she thought of him. The thoughts of taking vows of chastity, poverty, obedience and service to the poor were replaced with Bob, Bob and more Bob.
“It was a lightning bolt,” she said. “You are not supposed to be a nun.”
She went home, canceled her plans to join the Daughters of Charity and started writing to Bob.
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Over the next two years, Bob and Violet courted via phone and letters. Though more than 400 miles separated them physically, their bonds grew stronger with each sealed envelope they received and every minute Violet spent talking to him on the black rotary phone.
While they were talking one night, Bob asked her, “Can you see the moon from where you’re sitting?” She couldn’t. He couldn’t either, but he had an idea.
“When we get off the phone, go outside, look up at the moon, and I will do the same and we’ll be together,” he said.
She planned to go to Colorado after graduating, and he enrolled at Mesa College in 1966 to halve the distance between them.
They had no idea it wasn’t going to last.
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Violet broke up with Bob before their story could go any further. Later, they referenced the source of the breakup as “circumstances beyond their control,” but they were both confused and hurt when it happened.
Violet’s mother had bypass surgery in 2006. During her recovery she decided it was time to confess a horrible secret.
“She told me that she was responsible for Bob and me breaking up,” Violet said. “And that before she left this Earth, that’s the one thing that she carried that she could not go with.”
As soon as Violet made it home, she started her search for Bob. She decided to start with a connection she knew he had - his high school - and went to classmates.com and joined Aurora Central High School.
Over the next two years she left 12 messages. She heard nothing back.
“I decided either he’s married or he just does not want anything to do with me,” she said.
Violet retired from her career as an elementary school teacher in 2014. Two years later, she was alone, widowed and feeling like something was missing in her life.
Then one morning, her phone rang.
“This is Bob Martin,” a voice said.
He asked her where she was and she said she lived in Grand Junction.
What? How long have you been here?
26 years.
Guess where I live?
Where?
Grand Junction, Colorado.
He had moved here 30 years ago to work as a respiratory therapist and they never knew they lived in the same town and had crossed paths.
They made dinner plans for Sept. 1 and talked non-stop into the wee hours, closing down the restaurant.
The instant love connection they formed in 1965 had never left their hearts, and that eternal bond provided the foundation for a new love without uncertainty, a love that required no reinforcement, no getting to know each other or building trust. He had been married twice, divorced twice and had six children. She had been married, had two sons and her husband died after 24 years of marriage. But they picked up right where they left off back in 1967.
About four weeks later, Bob moved in.
“He was my life after that,” she said.
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It was the happiest time of Bob’s life. He and Violet went everywhere together - on a road trip to Santa Fe, chaperoning marching band trips for the high schools Bob volunteered with when he dedicated himself to music after retiring. He loved telling their fairy tale story to anyone who would listen.
Their happily ever after was shorter than they anticipated, though.
In May, Bob wasn’t feeling so well and was dealing with back pain.
After visiting the doctor and getting some tests performed, they discovered on June 1 that it was the worst possible diagnosis.
Bob had stage 4 pancreatic cancer, a particularly rare and aggressive form of the disease.
He had days to maybe two weeks if he was lucky.
Bob took Violet’s hand, looked at her and said, “We didn’t get married.”
“Well, what’s stopping us?” Violet said.
They were married in room 1019 of St. Mary’s Hospital on June 5. The mystery of the timing of their reconnection was solved.
“We both knew why we had been brought together,” she said. When doctors suggested moving Bob to a care facility for his remaining days, Violet protested. “The reason we’re back together is because we made a commitment to each other,” she told him. “I will take care of you for as long as I live.”
So Violet brought Bob home, because that was where he wanted to be.
The second night after he came home, she and one of his daughters were sitting with him. It was about 1:30 a.m. and Violet realized the moon was full.
She said, “Bob, it’s a full moon. Want me to go look at the moon?”
He raised his eyebrows in response and she headed outside to gaze at their moon.
By the time she came back, he had passed away.
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Violet’s bouquet from the wedding is hanging in her garage, drying. The last wilting flowers that decorated his hospital room are on the counter, and she has paperwork to handle to change her name to Violet Martin. Bob’s ashes sit in an urn on the kitchen table, awaiting their destination at one of their favorite places to talk, their rock.
She’s not bitter about how their lives played out or the fact that he died at 68, only 10 days after he found out he was sick and five days after they married. She’s just grateful they had time together in the end, and she loves telling their love story.
“Nicholas Sparks could not have written this,” she said.
They had no regrets. He was supposed to marry his first wife, and his second wife, and have his family and career. She was supposed to marry her first husband and have her children and her career. They talked about it a lot.
“If we had been together our lives would have been different,” she said. “The world would not be the same today, had we been together. We felt the hand of God so much in our lives that we accept that he knew best what we were supposed to do and he gave us a gift at the end.”
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Information from: The Daily Sentinel, https://www.gjsentinel.com
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