OPINION:
There’s a new crisis in Old Blighty. Prince George, son of the duke and duchess of Cambridge and grandson of Queen Elizabeth II, could soon be a common felon, and he’s not quite 3 years old. It’s not likely, but you never know. There’s photographic proof that he committed a dastardly deed.
His parents, William and Catherine, called in a photographer to take a few snapshots to mark the approaching birthday of the boy. The occasion called for more than a few selfies with Mom and Dad. Prince George is third in line to the British throne. Prospective felon or not, he’s all boy and a delight to see with his dog Lupo, a spaniel, in a photographed romp around Kensington Palace. It’s with Lupo that lies the awful tale.
Among the four photographs released Friday by Kensington Palace, one shows the barefoot prince sharing an ice-cream cone — chocolate-covered vanilla, by the looks of it — with his dog. Lupo was lapping it up, threatening to leave not very much for royalty.
The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, the leading animal-rights organization and a voice of reason for dogs, cats and other creatures of the field, reasonably explained that dogs, always hungry, will try almost anything once (and even twice and three times), but dogs are usually allergic to dairy products. They cannot easily digest milk and chocolate is highly toxic to them. “It’s lovely that Prince George is trying to help keep his family dog, Lupo, cool in these high temperatures,” a spokesman for the royal society said. “We would advise people to be cautious when giving their dogs food meant for human consumption. Instead of ice-cream we would suggest making an [ice-cream treat] from pet-friendly ingredients. Making these can be really fun for children and the end product is both safe and enjoyable for dogs.”
Nevertheless, animal-rights fanatics leaped into action with their usual hysteria, as if a squadron of Stukas had arrived overhead to resume the Battle of Britain. Several of the fanatics demanded that Prince George be arrested for endangering the health of an animal. The crime, fortunately, is not a capital offense, and a good thing, since a noose in a child’s size is difficult to find in Christendom.
Lupo is no worse for the wear, and Prince George seems blissfully unaware of the controversy, and has happily returned often to the scene of the crime. His parents sent a palace spokesman, as the royals call their press agents, out to “thank everyone for all the lovely messages they have received as Prince George celebrates his third birthday. There was no comment about the ice cream and the chocolate. There was no point in stirring up the chocolate fanatics, of whom there are many.
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