HAGELIN & CAREY: What will you pass on to future generations?

ANALYSIS/OPINION:

The challenge: What “runs in the family”

If you could take any aspect from the family in which you grew up and bring it into the family you have created, what would it be? A holiday tradition? The way your home was always filled with visitors? The friendship and affection your parents had for each other? Or maybe the tough but refining love they showed you?

What would you obliterate? Alcoholism? The sting of abandonment? Strict rules and unfair punishment? Short tempers?

Your answers may reveal more than you think. Even though history has a tendency to repeat itself, every generation has the opportunity to add to or to take away from things that “run in the family.”

Scripture makes it clear that how we live has a profound effect on those who come after us. There are many passages about blessings passing from the righteous to their children and beyond. There are also many passages that point out how sins committed by one generation often have consequences for generations to come.

Exodus 20:5-6 says: “I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected — even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands.”

Children of alcoholics will tell you of the pain they continue to experience; sons and daughters of abusive parents often will share their struggles in attempting to free themselves from repeating the same horrible behaviors they have experienced.

The reality is that our bad actions, attitudes and habits are easily transferred to our children, who in turn transfer them to their children. It’s sobering to think about our decisions having such effects on people who don’t even exist yet. Do you have a propensity to be dishonest? To spout off in anger? Chances are, your children will too.

But read this beautiful passage from Psalm 103:15-18: “Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. The wind blows, and we are gone — as though we had never been here. But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear him. His salvation extends to the children’s children of those who are faithful to his covenant.”

God allows an escape from the negative and horrible things from our past.

Since our days on earth are like grass, shouldn’t we make a pointed effort to seize the opportunity to break any chain of abuse or negativity that we might be passing down to future generations? And since God’s blessings last forever, we must grab the moments we have to pass on his blessings to our own flesh and blood, to be intentional and deliberate about blessing them forever.

Now is the time to ask ourselves: “What can I do today to help create a beautiful legacy for my children to enjoy here on earth?” And more important, “What can I do today to help instill in my children the eternal blessings that come from having a personal relationship with Christ?”

The hope: Lasting legacy

James Dobson is a hero of millions of families all around the world, including ours. His life’s work has been to strengthen the bonds between mothers and fathers and sons and daughters. No one has affected more families for the good than Mr. Dobson. Countless couples will tell you how he helped them strengthen their marriages and fully commit themselves as partners in marriage. The letters that arrive at his offices every day at his newest ministry, Family Talk, testify how lives are enjoyed to the full when moms and dads practice behaviors that bring joy to their households and children.

But most impressive are the letters from children who share how the faith of their mom or dad caused them to place their own faith in Jesus Christ — and what an enduring difference that has made. We know about these letters because Rebecca serves on the board of directors of Family Talk.

Mr. Dobson has a new book, “Your Legacy: The Greatest Gift,” which shares this truth: No matter what stage you are in as a parent, you can leave a spiritual legacy that can help equip those you love with an unshakable heritage of faith in Christ. You can learn more about this book at MyFamilyTalk.com.

When our dear mother and grandmother lay dying, we were privileged to be with her for her final days. We sang and prayed as we wiped her brow, and just loved her. As “Mamma Doc” hovered between earth and heaven in the last hours of her life, Kristin — still quite young — was sleeping peacefully in a chair at the foot of the hospital bed. Rebecca whispered words of encouragement and love to her beloved mom, as she reflected on her fleeting life.

“Mamma Doc” loved beautiful things. Flowers, clothes, jewelry — you name it. If it was beautiful, she loved and prized it. But as Rebecca lovingly stroked her arm and prayed softly, releasing her into the arms of Jesus, she pondered over the reality that Mamma could not take one thing with her — not even the smallest prized possession.

Or could she? God’s presence suddenly was so powerful that it was nearly tangible. Rebecca realized, yes, Mamma Doc could take something to heaven — the one thing that really matters: The people who accepted Christ as a result of her testimony will one day go there too. How utterly hopeful and beautiful and powerful.

The only “possessions” Scripture says we will see in heaven are the friends and family members who come to know Jesus as Lord. In his letter to the Thessalonians, Paul wrote: “What gives us hope and joy, and what will be our proud reward and crown as we stand before our Lord Jesus when he returns? It is you! Yes, you are our pride and joy.”

We are told in Matthew to store up treasures in heaven, where moth and rust cannot destroy. We are told to win people to Christ by how we live. Our relationships are our greatest treasures on earth and the only earthly treasures that will last for eternity.

There is no better opportunity to inspire love for Christ in others than through our families. Mr. Dobson’s book provides ways to do that. Through moving stories from his own family, he shares the secrets to the joys we can experience when we build lasting legacies. What more could you want for your children than for them to love their Creator and live confidently believing that he loves them?

Mr. Dobson also shares stories about his own journey, outlines strategies for the spiritual training of children, gives guidelines for reaching out to family members and focuses on teaching how to build generational faith into your family.

No matter your age or the age of your children, as long as there is breath in you, it is not too late. “The love of the Lord remains forever.”

What kind of legacy will you leave behind?