Crying out to God

By Kira Davis - Friday, August 22, 2014

ANALYSIS/OPINION

O Lord, how long shall I cry,

And You will not hear?

Even cry out to You, “Violence!”

And You will not save.

Why do You show me iniquity,

And cause me to see trouble?

For plundering and violence are before me;

There is strife, and contention arises.

Therefore the law is powerless,

And justice never goes forth.

For the wicked surround the righteous;

Therefore perverse judgment proceeds.

— Habakkuk 1:2-4

This has been my cry as of late.

Although raised in an agnostic/sometimes atheist family, I’ve been a practicing Christian since the age of 14. For nearly 30 years I’ve been defending my faith to non-believers. I’m familiar with the typical questions about who God really is from people who find the concept of a loving Creator ridiculous. I’ve become adept saying all the right things and quoting all the right scripture. As the Word says, there is nothing new under the sun. Every person who swears they are the first person to present their particular argument against God is simply regurgitating the same arguments that have been lobbied for decades, centuries, perhaps millennia. In the end, no matter how each argument and question is posed they are invariably asking the same thing: If God is so loving, why does He allow such suffering?

My answer is always the same. God gives us free will because love is not love until it is freely chosen. The downside of free will is that hate is an option, and one that is chosen quite often. With our free will we can choose to love and honor God, serve our fellow citizens and advocate for peace and prosperity. Or we can choose to hate God, destroy our fellow citizens and advocate for chaos and death. It is not God that allows for suffering, but us.

Apologetics 101.

Yet, here I am — a veteran Christian of nearly three decades, and I find myself asking that same question. I am watching the heartrending images of Iraqi Christians dying of thirst (what an awful way to die) and starvation on mountaintops, driven from their land by bloodthirsty Muslims who give them only one agonizing choice: Convert, or die. The same fate has befallen Christians and other non-Muslims in countries like Sudan, Sierra Leone and all across the African continent.

Each day brings new stories, photos, videos of babies being beheaded, mothers weeping for their children, kidnappings. Most recently, we’ve been assaulted with videos of American journalist James Foley being beheaded by the dull blade of a small knife — a torture both sickening and unimaginable. Our president makes weak statements and then heads to the golf course as the world burns.

It’s enough to make this faithful Christian raise her head to the sky and scream at my Lord, “Why??! Why, Lord??! How can you let this happen? Don’t you hear us? Don’t you hear our pleas for mercy? Why, God? Why?”

I know all the “right” answers, but some days they are not enough. Some days I find myself in the same position as the unbeliever.

When I have deep, soul-churning questions like this I always turn to my father-in-law Vic. A pastor for nearly 50 years who has endured more tragedy in his own life than most people can imagine, he has always exhibited a fierce type of faith. He has a reputation for wise and reasoned counsel, and I’ve walked beside him long enough to know his love for God is genuine.

I wrote him, “Dad, Habakkuk is asking all my questions these days. Why must the righteous suffer alongside the wicked?”

He replied: “Sometimes we cannot help but voice the musings of our finite minds. However, we have to remember that we are living in a fallen world that has been polluted by sin and all the invasive [attributes] associated with it: death, suffering, pain are all felt by all, both the righteous and the wicked. Until the kingdom of God is fully restored we are all subject (to some degree) to those ‘natural’ things.”

My finite mind had for just a moment grown weary of Apologetics 101. It is so maddeningly simple yet can leave you feeling so heartbreakingly helpless. However, the truth is the truth. It cannot change, we can only refuse to acknowledge it is indeed the truth. Our free will is what both led to the “poison” of sin and also leads to the redemption of mankind. I cannot choose how others exercise their free will, but I can use mine to help, uplift, pray and serve. In that respect none of us are truly as helpless as the daily onslaught of the news cycle would have us believe.

In the end, the real answer to my question lay in the same book that inspired my desperation. Even though he could not help but cry out, “Why?” with his finite mind, Habakkuk understood there was only one simple, gut-wrenching answer:

Though the fig tree may not blossom,

Nor fruit be on the vines;

Though the labor of the olive may fail,

And the fields yield no food;

Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,

And there be no herd in the stalls —

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

I will joy in the God of my salvation.

The Lord God is my strength;

He will make my feet like deer’s feet,

And He will make me walk on my high hills.

— Habukkuk 3:17-19